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Goodboys Nation Weblog Interoffice Memorandum

TO: Terry Francona, Manager, Boston Red Sox

FROM: The Great White Shank

RE: Red Sox Lineup

First of all let me state that I was in complete agreement with your desire to personally help punch Manny Ramirez’ ticket out of Boston. No one ever said the dude couldn’t hit - as always, the question was just how much crap you and the head honchos on Yawkey Way were willing to put up with over the course of a season. Without a doubt, you were doing a Batusi with the devil, and after two World Series titles it was time to give the devil his due and allow him to take his stage and screen act to La-la Land. And I know you as well as I and most of (if not all) Red Sox Nation wishes Manny well and thanks him for all the good times over the past 7+ years - after all, there’s no way we in in 2004 and 2007 without him.

That being said, let’s talk lineup. And I mean permanent lineup - at least as permanent as any baseball lineup can be this time of year just before the pennant race kicks into it’s September high gear. I know you know that the post-Manny craze had to be allowed to run its course. And I know you know it made no sense to make certain changes that would set unfair expectations of anyone on the team to try and replace Manny - after all, you don’t replace a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer just like that. But I also think you know that the lineups you’ve been sending out these last few days fly in the face of what you know you ultimately have to do.

So let me be the one to tell you what you already know you need to do. We can keep it just between you and me, and when it’s wildly successful feel free to take all the credit. Frankly, I don’t need it. I just want the experience the enjoyment of sitting back and listen to the sound of that engine hum when all the pieces are finally put in their right places.

1. Jacoby Ellsbury
2. Dustin Pedroia
3. Kevin Youkilis
4. David Ortiz
5. Jason Bay
6. J.D. Drew
7. Mike Lowell
8. Jason Varitek
9. Jed Lowrie

Why this line-up, you ask? For the following reasons:

One, Ellsbury needs to be up at the top. Period. Whether he’s going good or going bad, he needs to stop thinking about his swing or whether or not he’s Johnny Damon incarnate and just get on base. There’s no pressure on him - with Pedroia and Youkilis following him and Lowrie just behind him there’ll be plenty of opportunities for baserunners by the time Big Papi comes up. So he can relax and simply become boy wonder.

Two, The Manny Era is over and it’s time for Big Papi to realize he’s now The Big Stick around which the rest of the line-up will function. He’ll have plenty of protection around him - Youkilis is an animal in the third spot and Bay is already showing he’s got one quick bat. Between those two, he’ll get plenty of good pitches to hit.

Three: Mike Lowell is NOT a clean-up hitter, he’s a doubles machine. And I want that lower third of the line-up to start making a little more noise and spreading the hitters around, which is what hitting Lowell seventh and Lowrie ninth do. You have to assume you’re not gonna get anything more out of Jason (.219) Varitek than you’ve already been getting, so you need to surround him with some bats to avoid those dreaded quick innings.

Four: Whether Lowrie is a long-term solution at shortstop or not is not the question right now. The fact is, the guy fields his position well and dude knows how to hit with men on base. Putting him at the bottom of the order will also take a little pressure off Ellsbury at the top.

So there you have it. This is a lineup that works and will work well. Use it, and prepare for the rest of the American League to be the lawn and your team, the World Champion Boston Red Sox, to be the John Deere X700. You’ll be mowing and mulching like you never dreamed possible with what’s-his-name gone. Take my word for it.

Regards,
The Great White Shank

Oh, and P.S. - if Julio Lugo’s name ever graces this line-up for more than a cup of coffee the rest of the way, be assured our relationship will be terminated.

I’ve been pestered a bit by people asking about the rabbits and when I’m going to post pictures of them. It’s taken a while and a bit of effort, but here you go. Pictures of the rabbits so y’all know who I’ll be talking about the next time one of them does something worth mentioning. We’ll start from oldest to youngest…

Up first is Marble Junior. She’s almost nine, so, like our vet says, she’s playing with the house’s money. Born in our guest bedroom in Kentucky as one of seven siblings to Marble and Pepper (mother and father), when she was very young her sole goal in life seemed to be to destroy every carpet and baseboard she could get her teeth on, ultimately running up about $1,500 in damage at our apartment. Hard to believe she was the runt of the litter and kinda sickly in her first few weeks, for not only has she outlived her mom and dad, but probably every other one of her siblings as well.

Favorite things in life: Naps and Nibble Rings

Most hated thing in life: Trips to the vet.

Next up is She’s-Just-A-Little-Half-Pint, a.k.a., Half Pint. Half Pint came to us three years ago as a 1-year old rabbit from a family who thought a rabbit would be a cute and cuddly playmate for their kids only to soon realize, as cute and lovable as they are, just how much work rabbits can be. Half Pint is what they call a Mini-Lop and has a very sweet disposition. Freed from her neglected, laundry room prison, Half Pint now occupies a two-story condo with a nice view of a lime tree in our east yard.

Favorite thing in life: Being vacuumed (seriously - whenever Tracey vacuums, she uses the little brush attachment to vacuum the beast. And she’s in bunny heaven!)

Most hated thing in life: Nothing. I don’t think Half Pint is capable of hating anything.

Next up is Cosmopolitan, a.k.a. Cosmo. We named him that because of his pink ears which are the color of Tracey’s favorite cocktail. We got him last year as a 1-1.5 year old from the Arizona Humane Society. He’s a gentle beast who simply can’t tolerate being caged during the day, even though his accommodations are top-notch. Once it gets light, he slides open his cahe door and heads for the dining room, where he’ll spend the day under a corner cocktail table until it starts getting dark. Whereupon, he’ll head back to his cage and veg out for the night.

Favorite thing in life: Freedom to go where he pleases, when he pleases.

Most hated thing in life: Peanut (see below)

Last up is “That Little Bitch, Where The #@$! Has She Gone To Now?”, a.k.a., Peanut. Peanut came to us from the wild just a little more than a month ago. In rabbit years, she’s probably 4-6 months old - which means she’s the equivalent of a 2-year old child with ADHD. Everything is new and exciting and must be investigated at all cost! A couple of weeks ago Tracey found her inside our couch. Not underneath. Not behind. Inside. And that was two weeks after she was found inside her dresser. Needless to say, the other rabbits are not impressed with this young up-and-comer. When rabbits are this young you just have to tell yourself that adolescence is not far behind, and if you can make it through the first 12-15 months they kind of settle in to their routine. You just forget how frisky young rabbits can be.

Favorite thing in life: Eating. Chewing. Investigating everything.

Most hated thing in life: Not being able to eat. Or chew. Or investigate everything.

“I went through the city, realizing for the first time in my life how good are all the people in the world and how much value they have in the sight of God” — Thomas Merton, The Sign of Jonas, p. 92

“The Lord looks down from heaven upon us all to see if there is any who are wise, if there are any who seek after God. Every one has proved faithless, all alike have turned bad; there is none who does good, no, not one. — Psalm 14: 1-3

This is my little prayer grove where I sometimes say my morning office. In the quiet corner beside some big and beautiful bougainvillea (quiet, at least, when the A/C unit on the other side of the wall is not running) there is a beauty and tranquility of God’s creation that expresses itself whenever a welcome breeze stirs its branches or the trees nearby, or bird sounds fill the air. Today I found myself contemplating the state of the world, with these competing views of humankind occupying my thoughts. So which is it, I thought - Merton’s positive sentiments from his street corner experience, or the faithless, wicked, and perverse world as expressed by the Psalmist? Or is this a question without an answer?

Perhaps it’s a question of whether one sees the glass as half full or half empty?

Me, I think I used to be a half-full glass kind of guy who saw the world as everyone’s oyster, that if one worked long enough and hard enough goodness would always triumph over evil. But I don’t think that way so much any more. Now it seems to me more than anything else that the ones who get ahead are the ones who have perfected the art of kissing ass, or bullshitting, or sucking up, or those who talk in big flowery phrases but never really say anything, or those who can “stay on message”, or those for whom the only thing that matters is the bottom line. And I think everyone of us knows someone who fits that characterization.

And then, Merton’s words aside, the fact is that there are people in the world who are truly evil - those with no redeeming value whatsoever, those who seemingly only exist to make others’ lives miserable, or to damage or destroy people physically, psychologically, or spiritually. I think of my former brother-in law who has spun a web of deceit and psychological and physical abuse around my sister-in-law from which she’ll never escape. Or Islamic fundamentalists who strap on bomb vests and detonate themselves in crowded marketplaces or on buses, or kill innocents simply to make a political statement. I think of people who celebrate when conservative columnist Robert Novak announces his retirement due to a brain tumor. Or people who take advantage of the elderly or the sick or the less-than-well-to-do, or who prey upon the vulnerable. Sure, people have been bemoaning the state of things since the beginning of time (I mean, look at the Psalmist’s words) but there’s something else going on here - a darkness that seems to be encroaching upon everything that truly makes me fear for this country and the world. I mourn the loss of this country’s soul and the increasing vulgarity, mean-spiritedness, and coarseness of our culture. Not to mention the devaluation of human life seemingly everywhere in the world.

And yet, you can see good in the smallest of ways - you just have to be awake to it and respond to it whenever you see it. I think of this one elderly gentleman who works down at the local Fry’s. Like many of the stores nowadays you have a greeter who stands at the door to say hello or “thanks for shopping with us”, or to check your sales slip if the transporter thing you walk through engages and threatens to ship you off to some unknown latitude and longitude. This particular Fry’s has several people on this task, but it’s only this one gentleman who’s always smiling, who always recognizes you when you walk in, who always says “Have a great day!” as if he means it no matter how many people are coming and going at the time. He’s not a “HEY HOW ARE YA!” kind of a guy; he does it quietly, often wordlessly - but he always makes you feel good.

So I don’t know. People like him seem to be few and far between. I guess that’s one of the reasons why I’ve gone back to church, and a church where the sacramental Presence of Our Lord is so central to worship. Even though I don’t receive communion, to simply be in the Lord’s Presence and cross myself with a little holy water helps, I think, to infuse my soul with the sacred armor of grace and help keep the inner and outer demons if not away, at least at a fairly safe distance.

These are times when just when you thought you had seen it all, you realize… you have! And again! I mean, are you really surprised when…

NEWS ITEM: Michelle Wie misses another cut at a PGA Tour men’s event:

“I think if I played a couple (PGA events) in a row, it would be a different story,” [Wie] said. “It’s just hard to play one and then one maybe a year later,” she said. “I think if I played eight in a row and I missed all eight, that would be a different story.”

Yeah, that’s right Michelle, your problem is not that you play crappy golf, it’s that you need more opportunities to play crappy golf, then maybe you’d make a cut. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

NEWS ITEM: “Democratic platform embraces Obama’s change theme“:

The committee charged with updating the platform agreed to include suggestions from Clinton, whose campaign emphasized universal health care. Obama also campaigned on improved access to health care, although the two candidates often sparred over how to make it happen and whether it should be mandated.

In a draft of the platform, the party described health care as “a shared responsibility between employers, workers, insurers, providers and government. All Americans should have coverage they can afford.”

Am I missing something here? Like, this is news? Now if the headline said something like “Democratic platform embraces McCain’s general themes”, that would be news. How the AP comes up with stories like this is amazing to me. I call it “Well, duh! journalism”. Which, actually, isn’t journalism at all…

NEWS ITEM: “Lax oversight risks millions of Medicare dollars”:

The government is putting millions of Medicare dollars at risk by authorizing fictitious sellers of wheelchairs, prosthetics and other medical supplies to submit reimbursement claims with only limited review, congressional investigators say.

The study by the Government Accountability Office obtained by The Associated Press sought to follow up on oversight gaps that have plagued the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services since at least 2005. Roughly $1 billion of the $10 billion in annual Medicare payments the government makes for medical equipment are later deemed improper.

And these are the same people the Democrats want to put in charge of our health care system (see above). Yeah, right. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

NEWS ITEM: Al-Qaida mastermind of the U.S.S. Cole attack